Warning: Long post ahead and brace yourself for emotional words haha.
So I got a letter from my #1 law school yesterday and it was a small envelope. I was crushed to say the least. Acceptances come in big envelopes while rejection letters come in small ones. I was convinced I was accepted since a lot of people have been accepted around the same time with similar numbers (actually LOWER numbers) than me. I wouldn't be so disappointed if I hadn't put 500% into my application, every single essay, the LSAT, everything for this school. I was in their range and I had strong letters of recommendation; it just didn't make sense. I should have at least been waitlisted since people with my exact numbers were waitlisted or accepted last cycle and the cycle before that. Also I work and live in SD, I thought that would give me an advantage if anything since they knew I would for sure be going there if accepted. What sucks is that I can't even write a letter of continued interest because I wasn't even waitlisted. How sad is that? But you know what, they can only accept 20-40 people in their part-time program out of thousands, and maybe those people deserved it or had just a tiny bit more of an edge than me.
It surprised me how strong and clear-minded I've been since that letter last night. I didn't cry as much as I thought and I didn't get mad as much as I should have, but I decided that I'm going to take this failure and move on. I'm going to apply myself harder and come back stronger, and study once again for the June LSAT. I truly believe things happen for a reason and that if I didn't get in, it wasn't meant to be at this moment in time. Maybe I am supposed to have another year to work and save as much money as I can, maybe I am supposed to quit my job if I get accepted somewhere else. In life you can't always get what you want right away but once you do achieve what you want, you will be more proud and feel like you deserved and earned it.
Right now my plan is to retake the LSAT in June and get a high score so that USD can NOT reject me next cycle. I'm going to apply early this time, in SEPTEMBER when apps come out, and apply early decision since admissions are on a rolling basis. If you want something, you must make it happen and I think this is truly what I need to do and this is what I want. If I don't try I won't ever know what would happen.
There is some good news, this was my first rejection. I am still waiting on 3 other schools, but I was banking on this one and this was my #1 choice so I could still keep my full-time job. I applied to the FT programs at the other schools so I would have to quit (and move). I really didn't think it through yet since I thought I would be accepted to USD. I'm hoping for scholarship money and if so, that would make it worthwhile to move and pay rent. Either way, I have to be prepared that I will be rejected from those 3 schools and study my butt off for the June test.
Out of all of this, I feel truly blessed to have family and friends to talk this out with. My dad cried when I told him yesterday and he told me without failing in life, you will never be able to pick yourself back up, and that's exactly the type of thinking I'm going to be doing while studying again.
Good-bye life! I'll see you again in 3 months. Let's do this.