7.24.2012

I Don't Even Have a Backpack

I need to vent guys. I’m feeling scared, overwhelmed, stressed, nervous, and every adjective in the dictionary that is synonymous to these words. As I was texting Kaylan this morning, I attempted to feebly express my feelings about my impending departure from my familiar 9-5 world (or shall I say 7-4?) and re-entering the academic world by texting the words, “I don’t even have a backpack.”

via lululemon.com - Wouldn't a Lulu backpack be cool? Might be impractical, but it's nice.
Just rereading those 6 words over and over again signifies everything that I am feeling right now. What is possibly the most important item and most representative item that classifies a student as a student, is something that I don’t even possess yet! Who knew a backpack could give me such anxiety? This makes me feel really unprepared.

As I’m freaking out about the homework that was assigned for the intensive five-day orientation, the homework assigned for the first day of classes for all of my classes, leaving the BF to begin our long-distance adventure, turning back the hands of time back-to-the-future style and moving back in with my parents, returning to my hometown that I thought I’d never return to…I am realizing that I am in no way, shape, or form to begin my new endeavor and journey.


Why? 
Because I don’t even have a backpack!

It feels like just yesterday when I was making the decision to even attend school this year. Remember when I got rejected from my first choice and was going to retake the LSAT? Remember when I just took the LSAT? Remember when I just sent in my applications? Time flies. 
I still get shocked when I see that the year is 2012. Can we all just get a pause button?
I’m also very grateful to be able to have this outlet and to have friends and readers (YOU!) come along this journey with me. I get so many awesome comments and words of encouragement that it really makes my day and gives me the confidence that I can achieve my goals. So thank you for being here for me :) Example:
I love you Cait!

I think the key here is that I need to make my own pause button. I’m telling myself (after allowing myself to freak out at times)
that it’s okay if I’m not ready to go back to school. It’s been three years since I’ve stepped foot into a graded class, but I shouldn’t be intimidated. If anything, I have 17 years of solid experience in education (K-12 and college, duh!) and I shouldn’t fear it.
I have a tendency to fear anything new, especially after becoming comfortable in a routine. I think sometimes I have too much time to think. I’m an over thinker, and I think that’s my biggest flaw. My dentist even says that I ask too many questions and do too much research. I think the problem with that is I need to always have control of my situations. I notice that I get very antsy, stressed, and nervous when I don’t have full control or when I do not have all the answers right away.

What was the point of this post again?

Oh yeah, I am realizing that I need to calm the F down! I think law school will be filled with people that have similar personalities to mine. There will be go-getters, hard workers, type A personalities, and overachievers. People are probably freaking out just like me because they have no control right now and we all have no clue what's in store for us.
The best advice that I’ve gotten from a handful of people have been to just relax, and enjoy what’s left of my life before school begins. This brings back memories of the week before my LSAT class commenced last July. Except back then, the end was in sight (December 2011) and I knew that the torture would stop after a brutal 4-5 hours of testing. I need to remind myself that there will be an end to this madness (May 2015, can you come any sooner?).
I’ve tried reading law school prep books, reading blogs about law school, talking to people in law school, talking to practicing attorneys as well as non-practicing attorneys, enrolling in an online law school prep class, and I just feel overwhelmed by it all.
Over these next 2 weeks, I’m going to put all of that down (except for my homework) and focus on my last week of working, enjoy my last vacation with the BF and family, and fully enjoy my last weekend here in San Diego. I also might play some PS3, finish the Fifty Shades of Grey series, go to turbo kickboxing class, and do everything I love. Oh, and I might also look into a good backpack.
I’m giving myself a pause button.

via lululemon.com. Maybe this one would be more practical?
So, you knew this question was coming...what are your favorite backpack brands? Any suggestions?

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